The art of self-deception.
If asked, most of us would say that we understand ourselves well. We can usually express our motivations and desires, our likes and dislikes, and why we act or respond in specific ways. However, while we are aware of the thoughts, feelings and motives that reside in our conscious minds, psychologists often find that our subconscious can hold entirely different perspectives. The contradicting information results in what is known as ‘introspection illusion’. A cognitive bias that leads to us providing confident yet false explanations of our behaviour. Interestingly, research shows that our brains are actually exceptionally good at deceiving us.
“We now realise that our brains aren’t just hapless and quirky; they’re devious,” said Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson in The Elephant in the Brain. “They intentionally hide information from us…”
The question is: why would our brains deliberately suppress information; tricking us into believing one thing when another is true? The answer lies in learned behaviours, emotional avoidance and survival of the fittest.
As children, we learn the art of belonging, and a part of this is to honour the implicit and sometimes unspoken rules of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. We are taught to accept our ‘light’ and hide our ‘darkness’. When we do something deemed as ‘good’, we are praised. If we do something ‘bad’, we are punished. When we are applauded, we feel warm and fuzzy. When we are scolded, we feel pain and discomfort. All the while, our minds subconsciously learn to present behaviours that result in the least pain and hide specific thoughts and actions to appease to the people around us. Our brain gathers biased information, forms biased reasoning and stores biased recollections, all to avoid emotional discomfort, sustain our soothing beliefs and improve our social status.
Self-enhancement is one of the most common types of self-deception. It’s no secret that if we present ourselves in a positive light, it can lead to more opportunities, such as romance, friendships and career advancement. However, what is often unknown is how we deceive ourselves so that we can deceive others.
You might tell your friends and family that you didn’t get the promotion because your boss has it in for you. While it is no lie because it is what you genuinely believe, the underlying truth could be that you’re sabotaging your chances due to fear of failure. But that isn’t going to paint you in a positive light, and humans are walking lie detectors, so the easiest way to maintain your social status is for your brain to convince you first.
“What’s so interesting is that we seem to intuitively understand that if we can get ourselves to believe something first, we’ll be more effective at getting others to believe it,” says William von Hippel, a psychologist at The University of Queensland.
While self-deception can be beneficial to us, it can also be detrimental. Subconscious motives, denial and repressed information can make it possible for us to act in ways we would prefer not to. Maybe you catch yourself feeling jealous, angry or frustrated in certain situations, yet can’t put your finger on what’s causing it. Perhaps you feel that similar scenarios keep reoccurring in your life, yet don’t understand why. More often than not, self-deception is at play. And while it takes great courage to delve into the depths of your mind, if you don’t, your subconscious can continue to lead you in unconstructive circles.
The choice between looking inward and understanding yourself versus continuing to live in self-deception is similar to the decision Neo had to make in The Matrix. Take the red pill and get to know your mind’s truth, creating more control over your life; or, take the blue pill and live in ignorance of your subconscious; perpetually influenced by the unknown.
The question is: which pill will you swallow?
